sarah, sarah, oh sarah, how could you abandon us at a time like this?

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updated 6 minutes ago

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BREAKING NEWS

Sarah Palin is not running for president, a source close to Palin confirmed to NBC News on Wednesday.

Palin earlier announced her intentions on a conservative radio show.

In a statement she issued to the Mark Lewvin Show and read by Levin on the air, Palin said:

"After much prayer and serious consideration, I have decided not to run for the presidency of the United States.  I will not be seeking the GOP nomination for the presidency.  Every time I asked God He would guffaw like a hyena and when He composed Himself He would say that He would be answering Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann's prayers if He told me to jump in the race - they have been hoping to be eclipsed as the biggest morons in the race.  But honestly it was not the migraine I was getting from the constant laughing and shouting voices in my head, it was that I was getting pesky frown lines from all the serious consideration business."

"By working together we can to completely fuck this country up — and as I've always said, one doesn't need a title to help do it," she said.

"It's not about me, it's about all of us who are trying to put America to sleep."

She added that she will "help coordinate strategies to assist in replacing the President with a criminally insane religious fanatic, re-taking the Senate, and maintaining the House for large oil companies."

This is a developing story. Please check back for updates.