The new Dodge

We are back from the brink of financial oblivion and we have heard our customers loud and clear. We have not wasted the Billions of Federal bailout dollars, no we have designed a whole new line up of vehicles that the lifestyle and needs of everyone in America.

So we are brimming with pride when we announce the release of the all new

2010 Dodge Abductor

This has been designed with all your kidnapping needs in mind. Here are some of the many features you asked for and we have responded to:

• The styling is like the old Dodge vans, to throw off police descriptions.
• All the colors in the range are designed to be anonymous and hard for eyewitnesses to recall.
• Easy to wash-down in the back, Teflon lining will not hold even the smallest DNA evidence.
• Built-in GPS and police scanner team with the new 12 cylinder turbo charged engine to help in the event of a police chase.
• Mud sprayers that make sure your license plates are always slightly obscured.
• Unparalleled soundproofing. Screams in the back cannot be heard 3ft from the side of the vehicle.